Things Dads Do

I have a three year old son. The past three years of my life has been challenging, and has brought many good memories to my mind and heart, memories about the things dads do, about the things my Dad did. Most people begin to realize sometime around their late teens that there are things they want to emulate from their father, and things they don’t. I have been realizing the past three years just how much of the things my Dad did that I want to make sure I do. It’s a lot. So, here we go … here are things Dads do … things I want to do … and mainly, for today, on his birthday, in honor of “Bobby” (as Trey calls him) … things my Dad did …

Play with us – whether it was in the yard, on our gravel basketball court, making forts, or watching me do some ridiculous stunt that really wasn’t as cool as I thought it was … Dad played with us. And it was great. At the time I probably thought, “of course he plays with us, look how cool and fun we are” … only now do I realize that it takes more energy than I thought, but it’s so worth it. Thanks for playing with us Dad.

Put us first – I don’t think I ever really noticed it, but he was always making sure we had what we needed. One piece of chicken left, one of the kids is still hungry, not even a question – “you take it.” That may sound simple, but it was consistent. In so many different ways, he was always looking out for us, putting us first, providing for us. Thanks for the chicken Dad.

Discipline us – sometimes this one hurt, but man was it necessary. How else was I going to learn how life works – right behavior brings good consequences; wrong behavior brings pain. This is a general rule in life… one that I got to start learning at a very young age, ouch … uh, thanks Dad? I’m learning consistency is the key on this one, and that requires a lot of energy, and commitment. Yes. Thanks Dad.

Take us on vacation – I can’t imagine having any greater memories than I have of the vacations Dad would take us on. He’d drive through the night as we sprawled out in the back of the van and slept. He'd play with us on the beach, teach us to swim, take us to water parks. Unforgettable stuff. Thanks Dad.

Read to us – oh the memories … I can still hear his voice. I remember the big blue book of Bible stories. I remember Maxy and Mini (whoa! Where did that come from?!). I remember Dr. Seuss. Kids still need this, it wasn’t just a fad. Got a good book? Go ask your Dad. You had to be tired at the end of a long day, but thanks for reading to us Dad.

Teach us to work – yes I am thankful for this. It’s part of life. From the time I was strong enough to carry a piece of firewood I carried firewood into our basement to help keep the family warm. This wasn’t an option. Sometimes I didn’t want to; sometimes it was crazy cold outside. Didn’t matter. Hm, that sounds mean. No, it sounds like a dad who was teaching his son some realities about life at very young age. Thanks for teaching me to work Dad, even when I didn’t want to learn.

Make us pancakes – and other fun stuff. My Dad knows how to whip up some good stuff in the kitchen, but man do I remember those pancakes. And we’re not just talking special occasion on a Saturday … this was in the morning before school, from scratch. What?! Oh yea. Thanks Dad.

Verbally affirm us – those of you who know me know how crucial this one is. Dad was always loving and affectionate and consistently told us he loved us. One of the things a son longs to hear from his dad is “I’m proud of you son.” And I had the privilege of hearing that on a regular basis. Thanks Dad. I'm proud of you too.

Pray for us – there’s something big about this one. It communicates dependency on God. He could have done all these other things right, but the real influence on our lives was not just the way our Dad loved us, but the way that He prayed to his Father to lead, guide, and protect us. I am very convicted of my need to pray for my kids, and I am so very glad my Dad prayed for us. Thank you Father. Thanks Dad.

Lay down in my bed with me before I go to sleep – it’s the end of the day, we’ve played, made forts, read books, done baths, brushed teeth … I’m tired. Trey’s tired but doesn’t know it yet. What does he want? “Daddy, can you lay down with me one minute?” Sure son. That’s exactly what I would ask my Dad. And that’s exactly what he would say. So comforting. What a way to fall asleep. Thanks Dad.

Dad - you have set a great example to me of things Dads do - I am doing my best to follow it. I always hoped I would be a great dad. I never knew how much it would require of me. I always thought my dad was a great dad … I never knew how much it required from him. Thank you Dad. Happy Birthday.

The Wreality of Our Wrathful God (warning - this is not a warm fuzzy Christmas post)

I was reading Psalm 51 yesterday and when I got to the end I just kept reading and hit Psalm 52, which, to my knowledge is not a very well known psalm. Here's what I found: "Surely God will bring you down to everlasting ruin: He will snatch you up and tear you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living... here now is the man who did not make God his stronghold." I can hardly figure why this psalm isn't as popular as Psalm 51. Then I figured it out - this is the proactive psalm ... Psalm 51 is the reactive psalm. In Psalm 51 David is reacting to a sin already committed. Now, it is the appropriate reaction - confession and repentance. But I would prefer to meditate on Psalm 52 and heed the warning that can keep me from the sin that would need to be repented of.

I think this is God hit me with when I read Psalm 52 ... don't be that guy Robby. Yes, I am saved by God's grace and can never do anything to lose His love. But that doesn't mean I can never do anything to get lovingly punished. God has given me Himself as a stronghold (by His grace), but if I do not make God my stronghold (which takes faith), then I make myself susceptible to His righteous wrath against sin ... but not as a wicked outsider, as a son that He loves. But the mistake I have been making is thinking that only the wicked outsiders get the kind of severe treatment described here. The sons that He loves get ... a slap on the wrist? I don't think so. I think if we continue in patterns of sin we open ourselves up to some severe consequences. And God is justified in exercising His righteous wrath, even against His children which He loves. In fact it is because He loves us. It would be unloving for Him to deceive us into thinking that sin has no consequences by not disciplining us for sin.

But Psalm 52 doesn't end with the bleak picture painted so far. Verse 8 and 9 provide an excellent alternative to ignoring God's wrath and living in sin: "But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints."

Today ... proactive psalm for me. I will not be like the man who did not make God his stronghold. I will trust in God's unfailing love.

Then What?

Sometimes a wise question to ask when faced with temptation is "then what?" Whatever it is you are being tempted to do ... whatever way you are being tempted to believe there is something better for you than what God has planned ... whatever way you are struggling with doubting whether God's goodness and grace is sufficient for your fulfillment and satisfaction ... ask yourself this - then what?

Ok, so I give in (be it a shopping binge, a six pack, a website) ... then what? Well, I enjoy it, for a minute. Then I'm faced with consequences and still left with no real satisfaction. Pretty simple exercise, doesn't take long, appeals to our rational minds. So, if this is so simple, why aren't more people doing this and avoiding falling for temptation and the emptiness that follows? Maybe this battle is not only fought in our minds.

If Adam and Eve had done this ... "ok, we eat the fruit, then what?" Ah yes, but they were lied to. They probably would have answered "then we have more knowledge, then we get to experience the best fruit in the whole garden, then we know what God knows" ... and all of this sounded appealing to them. But it was a lie. If they had recognized the lie, and believed what Gods said, the "then what?" question could have been valuable, with answer being: "we'll die."

So, two things must be considered in order for this to work:

1. You must be aware of the lie embedded in the temptation. No one is ever tempted to feel empty and deceived. We are tempted by things we think are good, things we think will satisfy. What we have to recognize is that we're being lied to! Then, when we ask "then what?" the correct answers will follow: we'll feel deceived, empty, still unfulfilled, and even more susceptible to the same temptation.

2. This exercise is helpful to get our minds thinking right, but we must also recognize that the battle is not only in the mind. I can understand in principle that giving into the temptation won't really work and still fall for it b/c the desire of the human heart for satisfaction is strong, and not always rational. That's why we must also be in the habit of regularly seeking the Lord, loving him with "all our hearts," and experiencing a deep soul satisfaction (Psalm 63:5).

So, the discipline of nurturing our hearts with God's grace, and setting our minds with God's truth can lead to victory in times of temptation, and a deeper satisfaction than anything offered in this dry and weary land (Psalm 63:1).

Idols that lie and Psalm 63:5

This will be great, just what you're looking for - you've never experienced satisfaction like this will bring ... this is what the idol will tell you. Problem - it's not a totem pole, it's not a little bronze statue or a trinket or any other form of primitive idol worship. It's modern. It's actually enticing. And it probably plays on an area of your heart that has a legitimate desire for some aspect of what is being offered. Food is good and is to be received as a gift from God with thanksgiving. Gluttony is idolatry. A home is a good thing, something God provides for protection and a place to love and serve others. Materialism is idolatry. Married sex is good, something God has given to bring intimacy and pleasure, a stronger connection to the one who is flesh of your flesh. It's good. Pornography is idolatry.

There's another problem - these idols are backed by a multi-billion dollar marketing industry that professionally convinces you that you are not ok ... but you could be. The prophets of modern idolatry are experts in cultivating discontent within us. And too often we buy it. Sometimes literally.

Then there's Psalm 63:5. David says "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods." How do you feel after eating really rich foods? ... satisfied. You don't want anything else, the rich food is enough. The loving relationship that God offers is enough, you don't want anything else when you understand how fully He loves and accepts you. He satisfies. Idols lie.

Swaying to the Music

My kids love to dance. Is that weird? I love to dance ... that might be weird. I saw Justin Beiber dance on the Ellen Degeneres Show today, that was weird. Anyway, there's something about music, a good beat, a feel good song, and just moving. It's so easy (for some of us) to just move to the music. And that's great, in the right context ... surrounded by friends at a wedding, with your kids in their pajamas in the living room.

But when the music isn't really music and the movements are habits of life, it can be bad, depending on what song is playing. I'm talking about moving to the rhythms of our culture, the patterns and perspectives we are surrounded by. It's far too easy to move to those rhythms without thinking about the song, listening to the words, recognizing the meaning.

Here's where my head is ... we are a church which has grown so apathetic to the one thing Jesus so clearly commissioned us to do when He left - make disciples. Why? Is it because we've overtly said we don't care? Is it because we weren't clear on the instructions? I don't think so. No, I think we heard the song He was singing but the song of our culture is a lot louder ... and easier to move to.

Here are some of the ways I think we have begun to dance to the wrong tune, and why that prohibits us from making disciples...

Individualism/Isolationism - in the past several decades people have become more individualistic. Institutions and authority are instantly suspect, I'm the authority in my own life, I make my own decisions based on my own agenda. Clearly those goes against making Jesus Lord of your life, and therefore doing the things He modeled and commanded. Isolationism sort of comes out of this one - since I'm the Lord of my life I don't need anyone else, community is devalued, IPod is kept in ear at all times, relationships are developed over Facebook ... in the isolation of one's own home. Both of these make it extremely hard to live on mission.

Comfort/Convenience - Your Way. Right Away. Burger King knew what buttons to push. We have microwaves, drive-thrus, pay at pump, smart phones, online shopping ... why? To make life easier. To be inconvenienced in our culture is an outrage. Yet, when Jesus was on his way to rest after hearing about the death of his cousin ... he saw a crowd, his heart went out to them, and he changed his plans. (Matt. 14) He allowed himself to be inconvenienced - for the mission. Mission requires inconvenience.

Consumerism - what can I get? What cool stuff am I missing? And where do I go to find it? This is a culture that buys stuff for the sake of having more ... stuff. This is a culture that buys new stuff not because the old wore out, but because the new came out. This consumerism is ingrained in our Christianity - we want the right songs, the right preaching, and the right coffee at the coffee bar. And what's sadder than the fact that people in the pew want it, is the fact that the people in the staff meeting on Tuesday are doing all they can to make sure they provide it, often instead of praying and seeking God's wisdom and direction for how to make disciples.

Fear of Exclusive Truth Claims - the world has shrunk. You can be half way around the world with the click of a mouse. Or you can just drive down the street to the local asian mart. The nations are all around us. And they believe different stuff than us. And our culture has convinced us that we are intolerant and cruel to even think that what they think is incorrect. It's hard to be on mission if you're not convinced of the urgency of the mission.

I love to dance, but I don't want to dance around the issue ... self-centered worldly living is disobedience. Not making disciples is disobedience.

Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices ... do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Rom 12:2)

The Attractional Force of Community

If you're involved in any gospel-community-mission type conversations then this is probably not a new thought for you. Lots of discussions have surfaced in the past decade or so as the church's strategy to reach the lost has seen a shift in focus - from the attractional/seeker-sensitive model to a more missional and sometimes more organic model. We've seen the rise of leaders like Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, cool trendy quirky Australian guys (Alan Hirsch), and others who have challenged us to think differently and move the conversations about Jesus outside the walls of a church building and into the workplaces/neighborhoods/hobbies of those who claim to love and follow Him.

What I want to discuss and see happen is this ... followers of Jesus finding ways to infuse Gospel conversations wisely (no Jesus Jukes) into everyday life and conversation ... backed by a supporting equipping community! So, how do we do that? Steve Timis and Tim Chester (Total Church dudes) really emphasize the importance of community in any evangelistic efforts. I want to see how that works ... in the life of a 9-5er, in the life of a full time mom, in the life of a CEO.

I know that because of the books I read and the conversations I'm in that I'm supposed to believe that genuine Christian community is attractive. And I know it is attractive to me. And I believe that it was attractive to the culture in Jerusalem centuries ago (Acts 2:44-47 "all the believers were together ... Lord added to their number"). How can it be displayed as attractive to our culture, here, today?

When I sit in my living room surrounded by people in my community group, ranging in age from 20s-50s, ranging in level of education, race, stage of life ... I feel the bond that we have and know that it comes from our common need for and acceptance of God's grace shown through Jesus. And I love it. But is it just my faith that gives me a category to appreciate the value of the community I experience? If so, then is it still attractive to someone without faith?

Something that has brought this discussion back to my mind is an article called Third Place. Basically, the idea that the worship gathering (Sunday) and the home group (mid weekish) both contain some amount of barriers for unchurched, and therefore, a third place is needed to interact with non-believers and allow them to interact with the Gospel Community. Something in me says there should be no need to program this ... our lifestyles should be infused (favorite word of the week possibly) with "third places" where we hang out with sinners. But ... this doesn't seem to be the case. So, if we have to program it to make it happen, so be it.

But how do you program it and keep it genuine?

As I discussed this idea with a group leader this morning I realized quickly that their plan would likely result in a fair amount of awkwardness and likely fall short of the kind of attractive community that we want to display to the world.

As I pitched the idea to the group that meets in our home I got some honest push-back. "If my friends want to hangout with people, they're going to hang out with their own friends, they don't have to join us to do that... if they are going to hang out with our community group it is going to be because they want to hear what we are saying about God and life." Hmm, interesting perspective. But guess what, they aren't coming to hear it.

Though we don't form community around affinity, I recognize that a third place is likely to be most effective if the setting makes sense to the people invited. The 20 somethings guy is gonna invite his buddies to a sports bar to eat wings, drink a be- soda, and watch a game. The mom with two kids is gonna invite her mom friends to the park or God's fast food restaurant (Chik-Fil-A).

My thoughts at this point: People should be hanging out with sinners on sinner territory regularly to be salt and light in the culture, but since they are not ... let's give ideas/tools/programs to be a catalyst for this lifestyle change to happen. The question that remains - what does it look like for inter-generational, non-affinity based Community Groups to do that together?

In a Stable?

Well, I've been celebrating Christmas for over 30 years now, most of which I remember. But it wasn't until this year that I realized that there is nothing in any biblical story that says Jesus was born in a stable. In fact the words in the original language may actually lead us to believe he was not. Whoa! What about all those nativity scenes? They can't all be wrong can they? I can see some of you know grabbing your Bible to check it out. Go for it, what you'll find in Luke 2 is two clues: "no room for them in the inn" and "manger." It is from these two descriptions that we have arrived at the standard nativity scene. But a closer look is needed.

Katalooma - The word that is translated "inn" in most Bibles is the word katalooma in Greek. And it doesn't necessarily mean inn. A more appropriate translation might be "guest room," or simply "a place for travelers to rest." (It's the same word used in Luke 22:11, translated "guest room.") In fact, Bethlehem was so small that it is unlikely there was even a public inn in town. So, let's go with guest room. If Joseph was traveling back to his hometown it is likely he still had family there. And it is likely he would not have been the only one traveling back home to register for the census. So perhaps they were staying with relatives, in a full house, where the guest room was already crowded, and not a suitable place to give birth (most prefer an element of privacy for this sort of occasion). So these cruel relatives kicked the so-called "virgin" out to the stable? Hmm, no, probably not, though it didn't occur to me til just now that the whole virgin thing may still have been a little sketchy to family members just hearing about it. It's funny, since I've had 30 years to process the story, I think Joseph's relatives have had that long too (wait, I didn't know what a virgin was 30 years ago ... ok, I've had 12 years to process that part of the story). Anyway, point is, we have to understand the structure of a home in that time/setting to get this. In that culture, for a poor simple family, the animals would have been kept inside at night in the lower floor of the house, whereas the bedrooms would have been upstairs. So Mary and Joseph probably went down to the first level of the home to have the baby (b/c there was no room for such an event in the guest room). Another clue is from Matthew's account: "when the wise men came to the house." (see

Manger - Suddenly the manger makes sense with the "guest room" translation. If there were animals inside, there was probably a feeding trough inside as well. And it would have been a convenient, safe place to put a newborn. Um, I guess that's all there is to say about the manger. A little less eventful than the katalooma discussion.

But what difference does any of that make? Stable? Inn? Guest room? What's really being said? That's the question we need to get at. Even if we could perfectly recreate the scene of Christ's birth, that wouldn't be as valuable to us as what we do have - the words that the Holy Spirit inspired the Biblical authors to write: "no room" ... "manger." What is being communicated by what Luke writes? That's the question. What is significant about the way Jesus comes into the world?

I think it is significant that they were out of place. They were away from home, and there was no room for them in the guest room. Jesus was out of place in this world; He was away from home. And he came to teach us that we are out of place in this world too. There was no special treatment for Jesus, no "hey everybody out of here, make room, this is the king of all creation being born here." No royal announcement, no gathering of big wigs. Oh, wait, there was an announcement ... to shepherds, nobodies in that culture ... humble faithful shepherds who took care of their sheep - just like Jesus would do.

God came into the world quietly, not forcefully, with social nobodies and pagans as his first worshippers. Jesus still invites nobodies and pagans, and he still does not force worshippers. But all who worship Him from the heart find the same joy the shepherds and wise men found.