The Jesus Sandwich (but Jesus is the bread)

In Philippians 2:1-11 Paul throws down a challenge for the Philippians... but it is not in a vacuum, watch how the challenge is sandwiched with Jesus...

Jesus Our Motivation, 2:1

“If you have any encouragement from being in Christ …” Stop right there. Answer the question, do you? Have you been encouraged by your relationship with Christ? Has this union with Him impacted your outlook on life? What else has He done for you? Do you have any “comfort from his love?” Has there ever been a time where the love of Christ brought your soul comfort? Have you ever had “fellowship in the Spirit?” Have you had a moment where it occurs to you that you can fellowship with God, and with fellow believers, because He’s given you His Holy Spirit? If you answered no to all of these, it is because you either need to get saved, or you are still very young in your faith and have not learned how to recognize these blessings of being in Christ. If you answered yes to any of these… you’ve just been set up. With these privileges comes responsibility… “be like minded, having the same love, being one in Spirit and purpose.”

The Challenge, 2:2-5

If you’ve been loved, then love. If you’ve been encouraged, then encourage. If you’ve been united with Christ, be united with each other… “being one in Spirit and in purpose.” Paul wants to see them united, not just to present a united front against opposition to the Gospel (1:27), but also to enjoy the benefits of unity – namely, looking out for one another, serving one another, loving one another. That is why they should “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit!” That’s challenging, but they have the motivation of being united with Christ, comforted by His love, fellowshipping with His Spirit. So they can “in humility, consider others better than themselves.” Practically, this will look like people looking “not only to their own interests but also to the interest of others.” And all of this behavior is motivated by Jesus – who provides “encouragement … comfort from His love … fellowship in the Spirit.” What Jesus provides gives security and joy to the one who believes in Him; this security makes one able to look outside himself … to the interest of others. That’s how Jesus motivates. But the Philippians may need more than just motivation for selfless living… they may need a model.

Jesus Our Model, 2:5-11

Who better to model selfless living than Jesus, and Paul wants them to have the same mindset Jesus had. You see even though Jesus was God, He didn’t play that card to His advantage, He didn’t demand God-like status or treatment while He was on earth. So also, the one who is living selflessly must not demand status or treatment that they may think they deserve. Jesus emptied Himself, made Himself nothing. The one who will live selflessly will do the same - emptying self-promotion, and self-centered agendas. Jesus took on the form of a servant, not because He was forced into servitude, but because He followed His Father’s will into servitude. The one who lives selflessly will serve others, willingly, following Jesus’ model. But how far should someone go in serving others? How far does the selfless living rabbit hole go? Pretty deep – Jesus humbled himself to the point of death, death on a cross… public humiliation. Not because He made poor choices and paid the consequence, but because His love for His Father, and for others was bigger than His love for self. We also see that God exalted Jesus. Jesus humbled Himself, but God exalted Him. Don't seek self promotion, trust God for how He will direct your life, as you humbly serve others, just like Jesus did. Getting ahead in life, being promoted, climbing the ladder - patiently put these in God's hands, recognizing your patience may carry you all the way to the end of your life. Expand your timeline beyond this life, and let your faith fuel your patience and humility in this life.

The Deception of Idols

There are many men today who struggle with sexual sin. If you're one of them I hope these 5 simple points will encourage you. If you are not, may God use these to equip you to encourage others, or apply them to another area of bondage in your life.

1. Come to a realization that the images you are viewing (or the over eating, over shopping, over body sculpting, etc) are a form of idolatry. God warns constantly against idolatry (Isaiah 41:29, 42:17, 44:9), but not because He's an insecure whiny God who gets His feelings hurt if you look elsewhere. It is because He sees things accurately. He knows that He alone is worthy of your worship, and He wants you to experience what He designed you to experience - satisfaction, in Him. Idols cannot provide satisfaction (ask Mick Jagger).

2. Come to a realization that idols lie. They promise satisfaction but cannot deliver. The do this by appealing to our physical senses - the things that we can feel most quickly. And they definitely deliver ... for a few moments. Then the lie sets in. And you realize you've been deceived... again. No matter how many times you try, an idol will never satisfy. It only deceives you into thinking it will.

3. Recognize that your faith, not your will power, can free you from bondage to idols. The foundation of faith will lead to your freedom. You must have a sincere belief that Jesus is better, that what He offers is better. Your faith must go beyond a simple belief in the existence of God, it must reflect the truth of Hebrews 11:6 "Those who come to God must believe that He exists, and that He is a rewarder of those who earnestly seek Him." Not only is God real, what He offers is real - abundant life, joy, peace, purpose. Things that an idol can never offer you. So you must have faith that what God offers is better than what the idol offers. Once this faith is in place, your will can feel the power to say no to idols. But will power without faith is just law ... it doesn't work.

4. Fuel your brain with truth. There are many passages that talk about the importance of the mind (Colossians 3:2, Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5, I Peter 1:13, Ephesians 4:22-24). There is a reason for this - that is where the day to day battle is won. Faith must be the foundation, but truth must fill your mind in order for you to behave according to what you believe. What truth from God's Word helps you savor the beauty of Christ? Fill your mind with those truths. What truth from God's Word reminds you that you have been made new in Christ, and no longer have to submit to idolatry (2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 2:10, I Peter 2:9 are just a few)

5. Share your journey with someone else regularly, and invite them to ask how you are doing with the steps above. Don't let it devolve into a "did you mess up?" session... let it be a worship session - be honest about your struggles, but end with the beauty of Christ, a reminder of your ultimate satisfaction.

100 Wins.

From what I understand, earning 100 wins at one school is a significant feat. And if I think about it, it certainly is... but my situation is a little different. I'm used to winning... my dad is Coach Bob Christmas, and he's been winning football games for almost 4 decades. District Champs, Region Champs, State Champs ... done it all. Coach of the Year - several times. Broken records - yea, lots of those, especially at North Hall High School where Coach Christmas is in his 12th year.

I played for my Dad, and coached with my him as well, and I learned invaluable life lessons - hard work, loyalty, determination, intensity. I had no idea how much these experiences under his leadership would shape my values.  As much as I've enjoyed being part of winning football programs, I have seen how the value of solid coaching goes beyond Friday nights. The wins are great, but when the games end, life goes on. I loved winning while I played, but I'm still loving applying the values acquired playing for my Dad.

And I'm not the only one who feels that way. I remember a phone call I got when I was about 17 years old. The home phone rang (cause that's all that existed back then), and someone asked for Coach Christmas. He wasn't home, so I got to speak with one of his former players. He explained how much Coach Christmas had meant to him, how much he had taught him, how much he had inspired him. "Tell your Dad I'm doing real good man." These reconnections from former players were not uncommon.

Having 100 wins at one school is incredible, but it's about so much more than wins. Just ask the men who have played for Bob Christmas.

Congratulations Coach. I'm proud of you Dad.

Robby

Dating Your Wife, Part II

(this post speaks very frankly about what is a sensitive topic to some... you've been warned.)

After sharing these thoughts with some friends and getting some feedback, I've decided to camp out on this topic for another post. Particularly concerning "sexpectations," and creative dating on a budget.

Two of my buddies pointed out how important it is to think correctly about the difference between how our wives tend to view sex, and how us guys tend to view it. It is usually very different. Here a few observations concerning the different ways men and women tend to view sex...

• Men are turned on easily and often. Women are turned on ... sometimes.
• Men are turned on visually (or if your wife accidentally touches your thigh as she walks by you) ... women seem to be turned on emotionally - when they feel loved, cared for, cherished. (and no, your new biceps from extra time at the gym are probably not gonna get her there... sorry)
• For men sex leads to intimacy (even that's a stretch for some guys), for woman - intimacy leads to sex.
• Men who are stressed can become de-stressed by hopping in the sac... women who are stressed become distressed by hopping in the sac. We like to do it to clear our heads ... they need to clear their heads before they can do it.
• Women tend to measure frequency by times per month ... men - times today?
• Women need time to prepare. Men need time to... unzip. That's about it.

So, what does this mean for us? It means we need to love our wives by putting their needs above our own, even in this area. That means I need to work toward making my wife feel cherished, in a way that she understands. I need to help her de-stress. If I put fort the effort to help her focus on relaxing and being able to prepare mentally so she can enjoy it, then she does. We think "prepare mentally" ?! what does that mean?... It means a lot to them. So ... giving her space to relax and decompress, taking on some more of the daily chores - kitchen, kids, etc ... not to bribe her (that's key), but to help her relax. This will give her some emotional and mental margin in which to prepare for being with you in a special way.

Another important factor that communicates intimacy - nonsexual touch. A quick shoulder rub, a long hug (try not to get a bo-... uh... become aroused), squeeze her hand, kiss her forehead ... and don't expect it to go anywhere! She should be able to enjoy the comfort of physical touch without the expectation of sex. This will make her feel cherished for who she is, not what she has to offer.

Additional thoughts from my buddy Keith ... "we need to all put down the IPads, tv remote, laptop, etc and just talk to each other.  How many nights do you sit beside your wife on the couch and decompress after the kids go to bed and never even talk to each other." Good word Keith. Guys, this is going to require you being intentional with your evenings. If you just do the default you're probably going to be plugged into some kind of device. Go against the grain, put it down. Look your wife in the eyes and ask how she's doing, really. And then listen, really. If the weather's nice maybe sit on the patio, this may help eliminate distractions.

Overall, I think one of the keys is to remember that the goal is not simply to get her in bed, but to enjoy the intimacy that God designed us to experience with our wives, and in order to do this, we need to think about her, and put her first. So, if you've been taking your cues from Austin Powers ("in my country men come first and women come second... or sometimes not at all") ... stop.

We'll do creative dating on a budget next post. But here's your warning ... you're gonna have to think and plan. Don't be scared. You can do it.

Dating Your Wife

I was talking earlier with a friend about spending time with our wives, and spending time with God. Both are super important. Both come from the desire in our hearts. Both are appropriate because of the relationship we have with them. And ... both are sometimes difficult. So, men, I want to take a few posts (or maybe one if I have less to say than I think) and explore some of the beauty and complexity of spending time with the two most important people in our lives. Let's start with our wives ...

When was the last time you and your wife went out on a date? What was it like? Where did you go? Was it planned or a remix of that famous scene from Jungle Book ... "so whatcha wanna do? ... I dunno, whatcha wanna do?" Just how much thought should go into something like this? If you have kids this subject may be of particular interest. Before kids you didn't really date, you just lived ... it was one huge date. Just the two of you, pick up and go wherever whenever. Those of you with kids know how different it is now. And I'm here to state clearly - your dating life is super important, and requires thought.

So here are some practical thoughts for dating your wife ...

1. Only date her. (simple, but critical)

2. Think through your dates... what do you need? Are the two of you feeling busy? stressed? disconnected? tired? romantic? Guys, another dinner-and-a-movie night might not cut it. So, think about where you are, and what sort of date might be needed in your relationship at the time.

Sometimes you just need some time with just the two of you, to think straight, and actually plan further than the next day. You may need to talk about some important life stuff ... future plans, big life decisions on the horizon. If so, those things may preoccupy both of you while you're trying to have a date. It may be wise to plan to discuss these things for the first half of your date. So bring this idea up to your wife, and decide together how much time the heavy conversation should occupy, and then relax for the rest of it.

Are you feeling disconnected due to busyness, the mundane, or big life transition (ahem, baby)? You may want to intentionally not talk about the big thing (or tiny little thing, like 8lbs 3 oz) that's got you both feeling so stressed, and instead find ways to just share your heart with each other. Fellas, this will take some forethought. Have you ever genuinely wanted to offer this kind of heart connection to your wife but the best you can come up with at the moment is ... "so, how are you?" Write out some good discussion starting questions, google em if you have to, have a plan for how to get the two of you talking about things other than life routine. Here's a fun one ... what embarrassing styles did you rock in middle school and high school? Could bring some good laughs. Laughing is healthy. Here's an interesting one ... what jobs did you have in high school and college and what did you learn from them? You may find that questions like these not only have the potential to bring some much needed laughter, but can often spin off into other meaningful conversations as well. (she says she learned to be patient at one of her jobs ... you say "that's one of the things I really love about you" ... please don't miss that cue. It's a soft ball.) And by the way, don't try to hide the fact that you thought through, researched, and wrote out some questions. Nothing wrong with being intentional and prepared. Also nothing wrong with letting her know that you're going to do that.

Have you been in the middle of a busy season, and you feel connected, but just sort of emotionally taxed? Here's where your movie night might come in. Dinner and a movie, or sometimes, just a movie, is not a bad date. But it probably shouldn't be every date. In this particular scenario it may just be what's needed ... go see something funny. Let her pick. If she doesn't know, have 3 in mind and have her choose one of those three, or at least eliminate one of those three. Sit close, laugh, hold hands, relax.

What if there are no major stresses or life planning to be done, but you're just in need of some romance? Here's where you can get creative. Tell her you want handle the kids-to-bed duties while she takes a hot bath (or if you only have one bathtub... while she puts her feet up and listens to soft music). Then set up some candles at your table, put on some light jazz, pull out a spread of cheeses, fruit, chocolate, wine (or sparkling grape juice, depending on your denomination ;) ... be prepared to tell her a few things you really appreciate about her, and how much you love her. Important note - you might want to be clear on the sexpectations for this night ... you may see this going one way (in fact I'm sure you do), and she may see it going a different way, like ... drifting off to sleep while you gently rub her back. It may be wise to determine ahead of time whether sex is in the plans for the night or not. I know that may feel like it reduces the romance, but her feeling like you had an agenda the whole time, or you feeling rejected - also not romantic.

Ok, so there were really only two points - 1. only date your wife, and 2. think through your date. But a lot of sub points under that second one. Think it through guys - I think your wife would feel honored by the thought you put into your next date. Let me know if you want some more discussion starter questions.

Today.

Slept in a little, but still up and rolling around 7. Moving. Leaving this great house that we love, but trusting there's even greater things ahead. We brought Mary Grace home to this house, led our first community group together in this house, shared Christ with people in this house, had our first "let's love our neighbors by serving/feedig them" cookout at this house, we did a lot of updates in this house, we cried tears, laughed laughs, um... let's see... oh - wiped baby  butts, and basically, just, loved it here. Thank you God for this house. Our house on Grace St. I'll never forget it. How fitting.

I read some Oswald this morning ... he emphasized that service is not about pleasing people ultimately ... not mostly for their good. It must be generated by our love for God. I think I've been a little off base there. God designed me to really really love and care about people... but I get discouraged easily. I think I need to stay focused on God and His glory (while maintaining compassion for people) and serving and speaking truth for HIS glory.

We've really got a lot going on right now. Trying to pack up the whole house today (while taking a few breaks here and there to finish sermon prep for tomorrow!), got worship gathering, leadership lunch, and then 4 football games Sunday, get the truck and load everything up Monday, CG Monday night, close on Lincoln Tuesday morning, begin cleaning/painting, speak at RVA United Tuesday night, move everything in Wednesday, and then ... wait for it... go snow skiing Thursday. (not to mention I'm supposed to be writing an article for Steve Wright about church planting)

So here's this from 2 Cor. 4 (Msg) ...

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.

RichmondGRID and the Glory of God

I was hanging out at Boyer's Coffee and Ice Cream the other day (like them on fb here) when I picked up a copy of something interesting, something I had not seen before, something that really caught my attention ... it was a magazine called Richmond Grid. As I thumbed through I saw themes pop up that really resonated with me: creativity, innovation, service. This was a magazine that highlighted activity in the city that I really cared about - I was hooked.

When I got home I looked them up online to see about getting a subscription (http://richmondgrid.com/), and on their website I found the following titles ... Kindness: Every Move Matters. Richmond Moves to Knock Out Poverty. And an article about a VCU student who started the Humanity Helping Sudan Project. This was exciting stuff!

But do you know what I didn't see, anywhere. The church. I kept thumbing through, kept looking; I saw lots about non-profits, I saw lots of words and phrases that we use in church, but no recognition of the church impacting the city through innovation, creativity, and service. And these things belong to God! He created creativity! He calls us to service! But the glory of God was not represented in this publication, which was all about things that He made for His glory. Certainly part of that is due to the anti-church bias that seems to be pervasive, especially in urban settings. But part of it is because the church is so far behind in these areas!

I quickly felt God stirring something in my heart - infiltrate, let the Kingdom break through in your life, and make it known. "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven." Matthew 5:16. These people are letting their lights shine! And doing good deeds ... but I heard nothing about the glory of God. I want to change that.

Thoughts about Servanthood and the Problem of Consumerism

Well, it may be a little cliche for a pastor to be ranting about consumerism right now. We've all recognized the cultural trend, how it has bled into the church, and how it is counter productive. But the problem isn't just about wanting to buy something because it's new and shiny, or wanting the latest thing because we feel left behind if we don't (new Christian series on anti-consumerism? ... maybe not). The problem is the way consumerism has shaped our minds. 


Think about the message of consumerism ... (go ahead, slow down, pause, think about what we're being told for a minute) Now consider this passage:

"... whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” - Mark 10:42-45


The message of consumerism is how you can be served.


The message of Jesus is how you can serve.


The message of consumerism is about putting yourself first.


The message of Jesus is about putting others first.


The message of consumerism is about acting on your needs.


The message of Jesus is about acting on others' needs.


The message of consumerism is about preserving your life.


The message of Jesus is about giving your life away.


But why is it that we are so quick to put ourselves first ... to think first about our own condition ... to react first to our own needs? Why do we so often do the opposite of what Jesus said?
Because we drank the Kool-Aid. Not that ... the consumerism Kool-Aid. We've bought it ... completely. I mean you, me, us ... the church ... the people ranting about making disciples who are producers and not consumers ... we're self-centered people, and too often it shows up in our actions. 


Our commitment to anti-consumerism must show up in the way we serve others in everyday life, in the little things. If you want to make disciples, if you want to plead the cause of the oppressed, if you want to be a voice for the poor ... start by serving the people closest to you, in simple ways, regularly.  Wash someone's feet (or perhaps someone's dishes). Give up something you want to give it to someone else (the last bit of milk for the bowl of cereal you already poured). Find ways to put others above yourself, then keep ranting against consumerism.

What keeps us from living the way Jesus lived?

The simplest answer would be ... we're not Jesus. But let's not use that as an excuse, because if I understand it correctly, that's exactly who we are created to be like ... and called to be like. Just a few examples ...

• "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son" Romans 8:29a 
• "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:5 
• "As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you." John 20:21 

Conformed to His image, with the same attitude, sent like He was sent ... that's the life we're called to. The crazy thing is, not only is that the life we're called to, it's the life we've been given. A few examples ...

• "He is the image of the invisible God ... Christ in you, the hope of glory" Colossians 1:15, 27 
• "For in Christ all the fulness of the deity lives in bodily form. And you have been given fulness in Christ" Colossians 2:9-10a 
• "And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts" Galatians 4:6 

We're given the life of Christ and called to live it ... but we so often don't. Why? I'm sure there are many answers. The one that has been on my heart the past couple days is this: selfishness. Selfishness is the most natural human reaction ... and the most repulsive one. We tend to react in our own best interest in most cases ... and it tends to be the easiest way to turn someone off, the easiest way to lose credibility or influence in someone's life. This is bad, especially since the call to be like Jesus implies doing what He did, and He impacted lives. In order for us to do this, we can't afford to lose credibility - with anyone! And so ... we can't be self-centered people.

But how do we change this?! I said that it is the most natural reaction - but it doesn't have to be! We can change our nature ... wait, let me say that differently - God has changed our nature! There's a new natural! But we have to work it out, we have to exercise it. We have to stop living in the old nature and live in the new nature we've been given. "You were taught with regard to your former way of life to put off the old self which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24. Ok, enough with the Scripture, we get it, you can't just throw verses at something to fix it ... or can you? We react based on our mindset, our mind is shaped by what we put in it. So, yes, throwing Scripture at something can be very effective in bringing change! But I'd prefer a different phrase - inserting truth.

You see, we've been told a lie. The lie is that you are the most important person in the universe. You are told this lie often. Usually by marketing slogans enticing you to buy something that is supposed to make you happier. We are an entitled people. And it's wrong. So in order to reverse the effects of this lie that we're constantly fed - we need to insert truth, often. Maybe it's wisest not to spend too much time running from the lie (you'll end up a recluse), but rather insert truth and let it chase the lie away. Here's some to start with ...

•  "But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:43-45 
• "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4 
• "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience" Colossians 3:12 
• "Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will exalt you." James 4:10 

So, read these often, chew on them, memorize them, chew on em some more, repent where you fail to live up to them, tell someone else how you struggle to keep this standard, pray, keep inserting truth. And live in the new natural - selflessness, the same selflessness that Christ displayed in His life ... and in His death. This is the selflessness you have been given. This is the selflessness you have been called to. Work it out. Live in it.

They Understand the Problem... but Not the Solution

It seems very often that I run across some brilliant insight from the world's perspective about the world's problem. Consider the following ...

"Somewhere in the seven pounds of gray matter that rests between our ears we hear tiny voices. We don't usually know what's being said but we know something is up. Something is not quite right with our lives, the voice seems to be saying. But because most of us are usually tired at the end of the day and because our kids want us to watch another episode of Sponge Bob with them and it's our turn to take out the garbage and walk the dog, etc., we struggle to respond correctly ... you feel the need for something in your life that is not quite tangible"

That's not the beginning of Erwin McManus's next book about the passionate longings in your soul. It's from the intro to a book about rustic log cabins. And though I also am fascinated by them, I don't think they are the answer to the things that are "not quite right with our lives."

Or consider this ...

"Since the dawn of recorded history something like one hundred and ten billion human beings have been born into this world, and not a single one of them made it... Roughly 60 million people die every year ... I read this quote once 'We live alone; we die alone. Everything else is just an illusion." It used to keep me up at night. We all die alone. So why am I supposed to spend my life working sweating, struggling for an illusion ... no amount of friends, no girl, no assignment about conjugating the pluperfect... is gonna help avoid my fate."

That's not John Elderedge at Catalyst setting us up for an explanation of how God has written a story that does gives meaning to what seems meaningless to so many. It's the opening monologue of a movie called The Art of Getting By.

The world understands the problem very well. Things are not right ... and the world system not only displays this reality, it acknowledges it. I recall Matchbox 20 - "can you help me I'm bent, I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together ..." Watch movies, listen to music - the world knows things are messed up! Listen to Coldplay passionately crying out "tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace..." We have indeed lost something we cannot replace - the purpose that God created us for, the meaningful existence we were meant for.

But here's the thing, though the world is well versed about the problem ... they have nothing to offer in the way of a solution. I remember riding in the car with a friend who was struggling with addictions... a Pink Floyd song came on the radio and he talked about how it resonated with him ... he could relate to it b/c of his issues ... but not b/c it offered him hope for overcoming those issues.

Sad thing about the world's insight on our plight ... it stops with the plight, their heart cries are genuine and honest, but with no direction. The best the world has to offer is the progress of modern man, who sees himself as the answer to his own problems.

The world must look beyond the world for a solution to what is troubling the world. We long for something like Heaven, but know it is unattainable ... so we just sing about the troubles of earth. BUT ... there is a place where Heaven and earth intersect ... the incarnation. Jesus understood the troubles of earth too, because He entered into our troubles in the flesh. But, unlike the world's system, He had a view of heaven, and He has made that view a reality for us... "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." - I Peter 3:15. Jesus brought Heaven to earth when it was out of our reach, and because of His life and death, and resurrection, we don't have to be stuck with songs that only articulate the world's problems ... we have a God who provided a solution.

Things Dads Do

I have a three year old son. The past three years of my life has been challenging, and has brought many good memories to my mind and heart, memories about the things dads do, about the things my Dad did. Most people begin to realize sometime around their late teens that there are things they want to emulate from their father, and things they don’t. I have been realizing the past three years just how much of the things my Dad did that I want to make sure I do. It’s a lot. So, here we go … here are things Dads do … things I want to do … and mainly, for today, on his birthday, in honor of “Bobby” (as Trey calls him) … things my Dad did …

Play with us – whether it was in the yard, on our gravel basketball court, making forts, or watching me do some ridiculous stunt that really wasn’t as cool as I thought it was … Dad played with us. And it was great. At the time I probably thought, “of course he plays with us, look how cool and fun we are” … only now do I realize that it takes more energy than I thought, but it’s so worth it. Thanks for playing with us Dad.

Put us first – I don’t think I ever really noticed it, but he was always making sure we had what we needed. One piece of chicken left, one of the kids is still hungry, not even a question – “you take it.” That may sound simple, but it was consistent. In so many different ways, he was always looking out for us, putting us first, providing for us. Thanks for the chicken Dad.

Discipline us – sometimes this one hurt, but man was it necessary. How else was I going to learn how life works – right behavior brings good consequences; wrong behavior brings pain. This is a general rule in life… one that I got to start learning at a very young age, ouch … uh, thanks Dad? I’m learning consistency is the key on this one, and that requires a lot of energy, and commitment. Yes. Thanks Dad.

Take us on vacation – I can’t imagine having any greater memories than I have of the vacations Dad would take us on. He’d drive through the night as we sprawled out in the back of the van and slept. He'd play with us on the beach, teach us to swim, take us to water parks. Unforgettable stuff. Thanks Dad.

Read to us – oh the memories … I can still hear his voice. I remember the big blue book of Bible stories. I remember Maxy and Mini (whoa! Where did that come from?!). I remember Dr. Seuss. Kids still need this, it wasn’t just a fad. Got a good book? Go ask your Dad. You had to be tired at the end of a long day, but thanks for reading to us Dad.

Teach us to work – yes I am thankful for this. It’s part of life. From the time I was strong enough to carry a piece of firewood I carried firewood into our basement to help keep the family warm. This wasn’t an option. Sometimes I didn’t want to; sometimes it was crazy cold outside. Didn’t matter. Hm, that sounds mean. No, it sounds like a dad who was teaching his son some realities about life at very young age. Thanks for teaching me to work Dad, even when I didn’t want to learn.

Make us pancakes – and other fun stuff. My Dad knows how to whip up some good stuff in the kitchen, but man do I remember those pancakes. And we’re not just talking special occasion on a Saturday … this was in the morning before school, from scratch. What?! Oh yea. Thanks Dad.

Verbally affirm us – those of you who know me know how crucial this one is. Dad was always loving and affectionate and consistently told us he loved us. One of the things a son longs to hear from his dad is “I’m proud of you son.” And I had the privilege of hearing that on a regular basis. Thanks Dad. I'm proud of you too.

Pray for us – there’s something big about this one. It communicates dependency on God. He could have done all these other things right, but the real influence on our lives was not just the way our Dad loved us, but the way that He prayed to his Father to lead, guide, and protect us. I am very convicted of my need to pray for my kids, and I am so very glad my Dad prayed for us. Thank you Father. Thanks Dad.

Lay down in my bed with me before I go to sleep – it’s the end of the day, we’ve played, made forts, read books, done baths, brushed teeth … I’m tired. Trey’s tired but doesn’t know it yet. What does he want? “Daddy, can you lay down with me one minute?” Sure son. That’s exactly what I would ask my Dad. And that’s exactly what he would say. So comforting. What a way to fall asleep. Thanks Dad.

Dad - you have set a great example to me of things Dads do - I am doing my best to follow it. I always hoped I would be a great dad. I never knew how much it would require of me. I always thought my dad was a great dad … I never knew how much it required from him. Thank you Dad. Happy Birthday.

The Wreality of Our Wrathful God (warning - this is not a warm fuzzy Christmas post)

I was reading Psalm 51 yesterday and when I got to the end I just kept reading and hit Psalm 52, which, to my knowledge is not a very well known psalm. Here's what I found: "Surely God will bring you down to everlasting ruin: He will snatch you up and tear you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living... here now is the man who did not make God his stronghold." I can hardly figure why this psalm isn't as popular as Psalm 51. Then I figured it out - this is the proactive psalm ... Psalm 51 is the reactive psalm. In Psalm 51 David is reacting to a sin already committed. Now, it is the appropriate reaction - confession and repentance. But I would prefer to meditate on Psalm 52 and heed the warning that can keep me from the sin that would need to be repented of.

I think this is God hit me with when I read Psalm 52 ... don't be that guy Robby. Yes, I am saved by God's grace and can never do anything to lose His love. But that doesn't mean I can never do anything to get lovingly punished. God has given me Himself as a stronghold (by His grace), but if I do not make God my stronghold (which takes faith), then I make myself susceptible to His righteous wrath against sin ... but not as a wicked outsider, as a son that He loves. But the mistake I have been making is thinking that only the wicked outsiders get the kind of severe treatment described here. The sons that He loves get ... a slap on the wrist? I don't think so. I think if we continue in patterns of sin we open ourselves up to some severe consequences. And God is justified in exercising His righteous wrath, even against His children which He loves. In fact it is because He loves us. It would be unloving for Him to deceive us into thinking that sin has no consequences by not disciplining us for sin.

But Psalm 52 doesn't end with the bleak picture painted so far. Verse 8 and 9 provide an excellent alternative to ignoring God's wrath and living in sin: "But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints."

Today ... proactive psalm for me. I will not be like the man who did not make God his stronghold. I will trust in God's unfailing love.

Then What?

Sometimes a wise question to ask when faced with temptation is "then what?" Whatever it is you are being tempted to do ... whatever way you are being tempted to believe there is something better for you than what God has planned ... whatever way you are struggling with doubting whether God's goodness and grace is sufficient for your fulfillment and satisfaction ... ask yourself this - then what?

Ok, so I give in (be it a shopping binge, a six pack, a website) ... then what? Well, I enjoy it, for a minute. Then I'm faced with consequences and still left with no real satisfaction. Pretty simple exercise, doesn't take long, appeals to our rational minds. So, if this is so simple, why aren't more people doing this and avoiding falling for temptation and the emptiness that follows? Maybe this battle is not only fought in our minds.

If Adam and Eve had done this ... "ok, we eat the fruit, then what?" Ah yes, but they were lied to. They probably would have answered "then we have more knowledge, then we get to experience the best fruit in the whole garden, then we know what God knows" ... and all of this sounded appealing to them. But it was a lie. If they had recognized the lie, and believed what Gods said, the "then what?" question could have been valuable, with answer being: "we'll die."

So, two things must be considered in order for this to work:

1. You must be aware of the lie embedded in the temptation. No one is ever tempted to feel empty and deceived. We are tempted by things we think are good, things we think will satisfy. What we have to recognize is that we're being lied to! Then, when we ask "then what?" the correct answers will follow: we'll feel deceived, empty, still unfulfilled, and even more susceptible to the same temptation.

2. This exercise is helpful to get our minds thinking right, but we must also recognize that the battle is not only in the mind. I can understand in principle that giving into the temptation won't really work and still fall for it b/c the desire of the human heart for satisfaction is strong, and not always rational. That's why we must also be in the habit of regularly seeking the Lord, loving him with "all our hearts," and experiencing a deep soul satisfaction (Psalm 63:5).

So, the discipline of nurturing our hearts with God's grace, and setting our minds with God's truth can lead to victory in times of temptation, and a deeper satisfaction than anything offered in this dry and weary land (Psalm 63:1).

Idols that lie and Psalm 63:5

This will be great, just what you're looking for - you've never experienced satisfaction like this will bring ... this is what the idol will tell you. Problem - it's not a totem pole, it's not a little bronze statue or a trinket or any other form of primitive idol worship. It's modern. It's actually enticing. And it probably plays on an area of your heart that has a legitimate desire for some aspect of what is being offered. Food is good and is to be received as a gift from God with thanksgiving. Gluttony is idolatry. A home is a good thing, something God provides for protection and a place to love and serve others. Materialism is idolatry. Married sex is good, something God has given to bring intimacy and pleasure, a stronger connection to the one who is flesh of your flesh. It's good. Pornography is idolatry.

There's another problem - these idols are backed by a multi-billion dollar marketing industry that professionally convinces you that you are not ok ... but you could be. The prophets of modern idolatry are experts in cultivating discontent within us. And too often we buy it. Sometimes literally.

Then there's Psalm 63:5. David says "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods." How do you feel after eating really rich foods? ... satisfied. You don't want anything else, the rich food is enough. The loving relationship that God offers is enough, you don't want anything else when you understand how fully He loves and accepts you. He satisfies. Idols lie.

Swaying to the Music

My kids love to dance. Is that weird? I love to dance ... that might be weird. I saw Justin Beiber dance on the Ellen Degeneres Show today, that was weird. Anyway, there's something about music, a good beat, a feel good song, and just moving. It's so easy (for some of us) to just move to the music. And that's great, in the right context ... surrounded by friends at a wedding, with your kids in their pajamas in the living room.

But when the music isn't really music and the movements are habits of life, it can be bad, depending on what song is playing. I'm talking about moving to the rhythms of our culture, the patterns and perspectives we are surrounded by. It's far too easy to move to those rhythms without thinking about the song, listening to the words, recognizing the meaning.

Here's where my head is ... we are a church which has grown so apathetic to the one thing Jesus so clearly commissioned us to do when He left - make disciples. Why? Is it because we've overtly said we don't care? Is it because we weren't clear on the instructions? I don't think so. No, I think we heard the song He was singing but the song of our culture is a lot louder ... and easier to move to.

Here are some of the ways I think we have begun to dance to the wrong tune, and why that prohibits us from making disciples...

Individualism/Isolationism - in the past several decades people have become more individualistic. Institutions and authority are instantly suspect, I'm the authority in my own life, I make my own decisions based on my own agenda. Clearly those goes against making Jesus Lord of your life, and therefore doing the things He modeled and commanded. Isolationism sort of comes out of this one - since I'm the Lord of my life I don't need anyone else, community is devalued, IPod is kept in ear at all times, relationships are developed over Facebook ... in the isolation of one's own home. Both of these make it extremely hard to live on mission.

Comfort/Convenience - Your Way. Right Away. Burger King knew what buttons to push. We have microwaves, drive-thrus, pay at pump, smart phones, online shopping ... why? To make life easier. To be inconvenienced in our culture is an outrage. Yet, when Jesus was on his way to rest after hearing about the death of his cousin ... he saw a crowd, his heart went out to them, and he changed his plans. (Matt. 14) He allowed himself to be inconvenienced - for the mission. Mission requires inconvenience.

Consumerism - what can I get? What cool stuff am I missing? And where do I go to find it? This is a culture that buys stuff for the sake of having more ... stuff. This is a culture that buys new stuff not because the old wore out, but because the new came out. This consumerism is ingrained in our Christianity - we want the right songs, the right preaching, and the right coffee at the coffee bar. And what's sadder than the fact that people in the pew want it, is the fact that the people in the staff meeting on Tuesday are doing all they can to make sure they provide it, often instead of praying and seeking God's wisdom and direction for how to make disciples.

Fear of Exclusive Truth Claims - the world has shrunk. You can be half way around the world with the click of a mouse. Or you can just drive down the street to the local asian mart. The nations are all around us. And they believe different stuff than us. And our culture has convinced us that we are intolerant and cruel to even think that what they think is incorrect. It's hard to be on mission if you're not convinced of the urgency of the mission.

I love to dance, but I don't want to dance around the issue ... self-centered worldly living is disobedience. Not making disciples is disobedience.

Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices ... do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Rom 12:2)

The Attractional Force of Community

If you're involved in any gospel-community-mission type conversations then this is probably not a new thought for you. Lots of discussions have surfaced in the past decade or so as the church's strategy to reach the lost has seen a shift in focus - from the attractional/seeker-sensitive model to a more missional and sometimes more organic model. We've seen the rise of leaders like Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, cool trendy quirky Australian guys (Alan Hirsch), and others who have challenged us to think differently and move the conversations about Jesus outside the walls of a church building and into the workplaces/neighborhoods/hobbies of those who claim to love and follow Him.

What I want to discuss and see happen is this ... followers of Jesus finding ways to infuse Gospel conversations wisely (no Jesus Jukes) into everyday life and conversation ... backed by a supporting equipping community! So, how do we do that? Steve Timis and Tim Chester (Total Church dudes) really emphasize the importance of community in any evangelistic efforts. I want to see how that works ... in the life of a 9-5er, in the life of a full time mom, in the life of a CEO.

I know that because of the books I read and the conversations I'm in that I'm supposed to believe that genuine Christian community is attractive. And I know it is attractive to me. And I believe that it was attractive to the culture in Jerusalem centuries ago (Acts 2:44-47 "all the believers were together ... Lord added to their number"). How can it be displayed as attractive to our culture, here, today?

When I sit in my living room surrounded by people in my community group, ranging in age from 20s-50s, ranging in level of education, race, stage of life ... I feel the bond that we have and know that it comes from our common need for and acceptance of God's grace shown through Jesus. And I love it. But is it just my faith that gives me a category to appreciate the value of the community I experience? If so, then is it still attractive to someone without faith?

Something that has brought this discussion back to my mind is an article called Third Place. Basically, the idea that the worship gathering (Sunday) and the home group (mid weekish) both contain some amount of barriers for unchurched, and therefore, a third place is needed to interact with non-believers and allow them to interact with the Gospel Community. Something in me says there should be no need to program this ... our lifestyles should be infused (favorite word of the week possibly) with "third places" where we hang out with sinners. But ... this doesn't seem to be the case. So, if we have to program it to make it happen, so be it.

But how do you program it and keep it genuine?

As I discussed this idea with a group leader this morning I realized quickly that their plan would likely result in a fair amount of awkwardness and likely fall short of the kind of attractive community that we want to display to the world.

As I pitched the idea to the group that meets in our home I got some honest push-back. "If my friends want to hangout with people, they're going to hang out with their own friends, they don't have to join us to do that... if they are going to hang out with our community group it is going to be because they want to hear what we are saying about God and life." Hmm, interesting perspective. But guess what, they aren't coming to hear it.

Though we don't form community around affinity, I recognize that a third place is likely to be most effective if the setting makes sense to the people invited. The 20 somethings guy is gonna invite his buddies to a sports bar to eat wings, drink a be- soda, and watch a game. The mom with two kids is gonna invite her mom friends to the park or God's fast food restaurant (Chik-Fil-A).

My thoughts at this point: People should be hanging out with sinners on sinner territory regularly to be salt and light in the culture, but since they are not ... let's give ideas/tools/programs to be a catalyst for this lifestyle change to happen. The question that remains - what does it look like for inter-generational, non-affinity based Community Groups to do that together?

In a Stable?

Well, I've been celebrating Christmas for over 30 years now, most of which I remember. But it wasn't until this year that I realized that there is nothing in any biblical story that says Jesus was born in a stable. In fact the words in the original language may actually lead us to believe he was not. Whoa! What about all those nativity scenes? They can't all be wrong can they? I can see some of you know grabbing your Bible to check it out. Go for it, what you'll find in Luke 2 is two clues: "no room for them in the inn" and "manger." It is from these two descriptions that we have arrived at the standard nativity scene. But a closer look is needed.

Katalooma - The word that is translated "inn" in most Bibles is the word katalooma in Greek. And it doesn't necessarily mean inn. A more appropriate translation might be "guest room," or simply "a place for travelers to rest." (It's the same word used in Luke 22:11, translated "guest room.") In fact, Bethlehem was so small that it is unlikely there was even a public inn in town. So, let's go with guest room. If Joseph was traveling back to his hometown it is likely he still had family there. And it is likely he would not have been the only one traveling back home to register for the census. So perhaps they were staying with relatives, in a full house, where the guest room was already crowded, and not a suitable place to give birth (most prefer an element of privacy for this sort of occasion). So these cruel relatives kicked the so-called "virgin" out to the stable? Hmm, no, probably not, though it didn't occur to me til just now that the whole virgin thing may still have been a little sketchy to family members just hearing about it. It's funny, since I've had 30 years to process the story, I think Joseph's relatives have had that long too (wait, I didn't know what a virgin was 30 years ago ... ok, I've had 12 years to process that part of the story). Anyway, point is, we have to understand the structure of a home in that time/setting to get this. In that culture, for a poor simple family, the animals would have been kept inside at night in the lower floor of the house, whereas the bedrooms would have been upstairs. So Mary and Joseph probably went down to the first level of the home to have the baby (b/c there was no room for such an event in the guest room). Another clue is from Matthew's account: "when the wise men came to the house." (see

Manger - Suddenly the manger makes sense with the "guest room" translation. If there were animals inside, there was probably a feeding trough inside as well. And it would have been a convenient, safe place to put a newborn. Um, I guess that's all there is to say about the manger. A little less eventful than the katalooma discussion.

But what difference does any of that make? Stable? Inn? Guest room? What's really being said? That's the question we need to get at. Even if we could perfectly recreate the scene of Christ's birth, that wouldn't be as valuable to us as what we do have - the words that the Holy Spirit inspired the Biblical authors to write: "no room" ... "manger." What is being communicated by what Luke writes? That's the question. What is significant about the way Jesus comes into the world?

I think it is significant that they were out of place. They were away from home, and there was no room for them in the guest room. Jesus was out of place in this world; He was away from home. And he came to teach us that we are out of place in this world too. There was no special treatment for Jesus, no "hey everybody out of here, make room, this is the king of all creation being born here." No royal announcement, no gathering of big wigs. Oh, wait, there was an announcement ... to shepherds, nobodies in that culture ... humble faithful shepherds who took care of their sheep - just like Jesus would do.

God came into the world quietly, not forcefully, with social nobodies and pagans as his first worshippers. Jesus still invites nobodies and pagans, and he still does not force worshippers. But all who worship Him from the heart find the same joy the shepherds and wise men found.

Punch Line: it's the Pagans (continued from last post)

Yea, so you've got the pseudo-king who just ends up showing the depth of his insecurity, becomes super jealous, and murders even more people - he doesn't show up to honor baby Jesus. To him this "king of the Jews" was a threat, a threat to his power and control. Sadly, Jesus is still seen that way by many. Then you have the posers (religious leaders). And why do I call them posers? Because they thought they had it all together; they thought they had the corner on the religious tidiness market. They thought they knew the Scriptures, but they failed to see that what they thought they knew, really pointed to Jesus (John 5:39). They missed it. And even though they knew the Messiah was to be born in Bethlehem, and even though they heard that he had possibly been born, and even though others were going to check it out... they did not go.

But the magi did; they went. In fact it says they were overjoyed to go. They found the child, and worshipped Him. These pagans, these star-gazers, these ... gentiles, they worshipped Jesus, the Savior of the world. But, wait, these guys didn't deserve to be there; they didn't have the credentials, the Bible knowledge, the right background! And yet they are welcomed, more than that - drawn, to this place, to worship this King. Reminds me of a verse from Isaiah - "I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth" (49:6). The light of the world began shining on gentiles early in His life. And I'm so thankful He did, because I realize that I am one.

Ya know, I'm glad the magi are in most Nativity scenes. I know, I realize it's not historically accurate, but I like seeing them there ... reminds me that I am also welcomed into the presence of Jesus, even though I don't deserve it.

Pagans, Posers, and a Pseudo-king (please pronounce the p in pseudo to make the aliteration work)

Picture this ... the most important religious leader of all time is being born. His birth has been foretold for hundreds of years. His influence will surpass that of any other human on earth til that time or since. His teachings will be recorded and taught for thousands of years after he's gone. What kind of people would be there to celebrate the birth of this special child? Of course the leader I'm talking about is Jesus. The predictions of his birth are the OT prophecies, and his influence is still seen around the world today. So, who showed up for the birth of Jesus? There are three sets of people presented in Matthew 2:1-12 ... pagans, posers, and a pseudo king.

The king, king Herod, is certifiably crazy. He has killed anyone who was even remotely a threat to his reign, including family members. Clearly this guy has some security issues. He wants nothing more than to be king, king of everything, in control, with no threat to his own sovereignty. The posers are the religious leaders. They knew the prophecies, knew where the Messiah was supposed be born. In fact they are the ones who told Herod that he was to be born in Bethlehem. They had the facts memorized, had their religious structures in place. But what about these pagans? The "magi" they're called. Where did they come from? And why of all people did they feel the need to come honor this child-king who had been born. We're given little detail, only that they came from the east, had an interest in stars, and had somehow heard about "one who was born king of the Jews." These were not Hebrews, not religious guys, not well respected in Jesus' culture. They were pagans, star-gazers, foreigners, gentiles. (by the way, all we know is that they followed a star, found their way to Jerusalem, and asked about a child-king ... let's not pretend that there aren't some pieces missing here - if all they saw was a star, how did they know to expect a king? did an angel visit them as well and we're not told about it? did word travel to their land about Jesus? did they somehow have copies of ancient Hebrew Scriptures that gave them clues? for all we know, they knew very little about what they were getting into)

So, the stage is set ... who's going to show up to honor this king? tbc...

A Royal Mess

So why does Matthew include these women? In a genealogy, which typically only has men, and which sometimes excluded men of questionable character? And in a genealogy of the Son of God ... seems like it would be easy to get left out of that one. And yet, there they are, scandalous women... but wait, we only mentioned four. Who is the fifth woman mentioned in the genealogy? Matthew 1:16 "...and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah." Woman number 5: Mary, the mother of Jesus, and no less scandalous if you think about it. Her story must have sounded crazy. I'm pregnant, but don't worry ... Yahweh is the father. What? Perhaps Matthew was showing that for those who were put off or taken back by her story, Jesus has descended from a long line of crazy stories. The royal line that brought Messiah into the world was a royal mess. Don't let Mary's scandal scare you ... it's nothing new, except this time, it was only apparent scandal. Perhaps Matthew was also reminding us that Jesus has descended from humans, very human humans, scandalous humans ... the very humans He came to save.